Boredworkers.com

Its just after lunch and I’m having me another one of those psychadelic iced coffees from the vending machine. I could just as easily make myself a cup of milo (or drink plain water for that matter) but the damn thing was calling out my name. So on a whim (maybe not since I purposefully removed some cash from my office piggy bank), I bought a can of Nescafe Mocha Ice Coffee. For RM0.50 a can, its a steal compared to getting it outside at a minimart or the coffee shops that line the streets of Damansara Uptown.

For those who have never seen this before, its one of those tall slim cans that contains 240ml of drink instead of the standard 325ml that you usually get with softdrink cans. The can itself is purple in colour with the Nescafe brand stamped boldly on both halfs and iconic coffee beans and chocolate chunks floating about. On the bottom of one half, the name of the drink is written in English: Mocha Ice Coffee. On the opposite half, the malay translation reads: Kopi Mocha Kopi Ais. Don’t ask me why the double ‘kopi’ (it means coffee if you haven’t yet deduced it, Sherlock) redundancy.

The coffee is actually quite delish. A little strong on the chocolate but everyone should already know that I’m a fan of chocolates. Its also a tad sweet (don’t tell mum), which should appeal to those with a sweet tooth (for some reason, lkclee pops to mind but I can’t quite put a finger on what it actually means…).

I really think they spiked the coffee with something. They should call this Irish coffee instead of Mocha. Once again, after several sips, I find myself wondering about nothing and tapping out gibberish on the keyboard. To be certain, I checked the labels to see what it was that they put into the mix. Ingredients as follows:

“Sugar (explains the sweetness), Milk Solids (is that like fermented milk?), Instant Coffee (Nescafe!), Cocoa Powder (and here I thought they were using real Mocha beans).

Contains Permitted Stabiliser, Emulsifier and Flavouring of plant and synthetic origin.”
- Label on can -

AHHAH! I knew it! They tried to hide it under syntax but if you break it up into context, the last line actually reads:

• Permitted Stabiliser,
• Emulsifier and Flavouring of plant and synthetic origin.

Permitted stabiliser? What the heck are stabilisers? Will the drink like become unstable and explode otherwise? But since they are permitted, I’ll let it pass. But that’s more than I can say about the emulsifier and flavouring. The stabiliser is permitted but these two other additives are obviously NOT! Otherwise the label would have read: “…Permitted Stabiliser, Permitted Emulsifier and Permitted Flavouring…“. And what’s this about plant and synthetic origin. Surely these are evil!

Those evil calculative manipulative people at Nestle have really done it this time. The additives are in reality addictives! No wonder its so deliciously nice! Drink at your own risk. You have been warned.