Boredworkers.com

I just came from the Bumiputra Commerce Bank to open a savings account. I have some foreign cheques that need to be cashed and I hear they charge the lowest rates. I walked in with all the necessary documents filled out and a wad of cash ready for the initial deposit. So there I was ready to hand over my money, and yet they refused to accept my patronage. What? They developed a phobia of money, all of a sudden?

I must have talked to at least 6 people before I finally managed to get my account open. The first person I met was the guard at the door who doubles as a ticket handler, handing out the queue numbers from the printer. After asking twice, he finally pointed me to a table where I should go to open an account.

There was a lady and a guy, both bank employees, at the table chatting each other up. It was a while before they realised a customer was there patiently tapping his foot waiting for them to finish their conversation about their favourite uncle’s cat which developed a case of hives and died. I’m all for idle chit chat in the office but not when someone is clearly waiting for you.

Banker: Yes, sir. How may I help you?
Me: I would like to open a personal savings account.
Banker: Alright, sir. First, I need to ask you a few questions. Are you staying around here?
Me: No.
Banker: Then we can’t open an account for you.
Me: But I work around here.
Banker: Do you have a letter from your office?
Me: No. I’m trying to open a PERSONAL savings account.
Banker: Then we can’t open an account for you.
Me: [Blood starting to boil] Why not?
Banker: Because accounts can only be opened at the nearest branch.
Me: Let me see your branch manager.

Flabberghasted. Firstly, the lazy bastard in his cheapo RM17 fake Armani silk tie takes one look at me in my off-white T-shirt with unkempt hair and decides to patronise me with his fake UK accent. Adding insult to injury, he refuses to open an account for me on the grounds that it is bank policy? What does he take me for? Some chinapek who is all impressed by his half baked sophistication and limited English vocabulary?

Hello? Earth to banker. Not every bugger who walks through the door in a T-shirt and disheveled hair is an uneducated ape. And even then, these customers are the ones paying your wages. And please, please engage brain in gear before opening your mouth and poluting the atmosphere with empty noise!

Banker: He’s wants to open a savings account but he’s not from around here.
Me: But I WORK IN THE AREA.
Branch Manager: Do you have a letter from your office?
Me: Why should I need a letter from my office to open a personal savings account?
Branch Manager: Because accounts can only be opened from the closest branch.
Me: This is the closest and most convenient branch for me to do banking.
Branch Manager: Where do you stay?
Me: [Telling them where I stay].
Branch Manager: Why don’t you open an account there. You can still bank with us.
Me: Lets see now. Firstly, you guys no longer open on Saturdays so it is impossible for me to open an account there. Secondly, I am trying to bank in foreign cheques which requires me to go to the home branch. Once again since you’re not open on Saturdays, even if I DO open an account near my house, I OBVIOUSLY still CAN’T bank with you. So this is the most convenient branch since I work in the area. It is a private personal savings account. Why should I need a letter from my employer? And what makes you think that I should get one from them in the first place?

That was enough to shut up the bastard with the cheapskate UK accent and the branch manager both. The bank manager ordered the guy to open an account for me and he pushed the job to another lady. My case had to pass through three other person’s hands before I finally managed to open my account.

It amazes me just how lazy these people are. When I was there two weeks earlier to get the necessary forms and make my initial enquiries, the branch manager had nicely informed me that it would take a long time to open a savings account then since all her staff were in the back room resting since it was a Friday and during the prayer period (12 noon to 2.30pm). WTH?!

Here they are charging you service charges left, right, and centre for services that are never rendered. They make it inconvenient for you in hopes that you would go away and not bother them with work. Good luck with that.

This is just one out of a dozen bad runins with bank personnel. How about you? Have you ever had any bad experience dealing with banks? Misplaced funds? Bad tellers? Snobbish clerks?