Boredworkers.com

When I saw the preview trailer for this movie, my first thought was, “Not another capsized ship movie!”. True that the visuals of the trailer looked good but if you think about it, trailers are supposed to look good. They were designed to capture your interest and draw you in. I’ve seen numerous movies where the trailers were awesome but the actual movie itself was flatter than roadkill. I’ve turned down invites to watch the movie on two previous occasions. The third invite I accepted because it was a Sunday and there was nothing better showing that WL and I haven’t watched.

The Plot…
… is so thin that it is non-existant. Its New Year’s eve and everyone’s on this grand cruise on some suped up ship called Poseidon, named after the Greek god of the seas. We’re introduced to the main characters in the movie. Dylan Johns (Josh Lucas) a professional gambler. Robert Ramsey (Kurt Russell) ex fireman and ex mayor of New York or somesuch. Jennifer Ramsey (Emmy Rossum) daughter of Robert and her fiance, Cristian (Mike Vogel). Maggie (Jacinda Barrett), a single mother to nine year old Conor (Jimmy Bennett). A stowaway (Mia Maestro), a wimpy suicidal gay architect who can’t kill himself (Richard Dreyfuss), and some other characters on the side.

At the stroke of midnight, the ship is struck by a rogue wave. The explanation given by one of the characters in the movie describes a rogue wave as an unpredictable tidal wave that is often fatal. I was thinking more along the lines of StarWars’ Rogue Squadron. Anyway, the ship keels over and is on the verge of sinking. The captain advices everyone to stay in the grand ballroom where they’ll be safe. He is obviously wrong. You already knew that so I’m not spoiling anything. In the meantime, our group of misfit protagonists try their luck beyond the sealed doors of the grand ballroom. They brave the dangers of a slowly flooding ship in an attempt to make an exit through the main thrusters of the ship.

To start things off, let me just reaffirm my initial observation. It is just another capsized ship movie. While the backdrop, means and methods may differ from one ship movie to the next, the story line is always the same. Water is rising, must escape, panic, sacrifice, sob sob, freedom!

Kurt Russell was his old usual stiff self. Everytime I see him in a movie, it keeps reminding me of Soldier. I blame it on Astro for showing it over and over and over again. As for the rest of the cast, I just can’t imagine why they would want to star in a movie set on aboard a ship. Come on. The ’sinking ship’ theme is a bad omen in and of itself. Its equivalent to commiting career suicide.

I was talking about the story and some of its logic when WL made a very good observation. When watching movies of this genre and theme, just take it as it is. Leave your brain at the door and don’t try to reason out the movie because there is no logic to it. There’s really is no point to it. Its a mindless no brainer movie. If you’re looking for deep thoughtful plots and stories, you’re better off watching Over The Hedge.

If I had to rate this on a scale of one to five, I would give it a two and only because of the eye candy. Don’t bother watching it in the cinemas.

Spoiler:
Dylan, Jennifer, Christian, Maggie, Conor and the gay architect are the only survivors. IMHO, they should all drown. At least that way, it wouldn’t be ‘just another capsized ship movie’.